Audio

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My Dearly Beloved,

I want you to know that I have not forgotten about you.   Even and especially in my silence, I'm thinking of you. 

My codependent self have been busy trying to adapt to life and it has been one thing after another.  So I apologize for the silence.  

I have gone through so much in the last three years.  But I have also learned so much.  I wish you were here with me so that we can go down this road together.  It would mean so much to me--just to have you here with me.  But I know you have your own journey and obligations. 

I'm so glad that we got the chance to meet.  And even afterwards, we tried to keep up with one another.  That means a lot to me.  And it is because of you that I'm sustained through all my tribulations. 

With that said, I've gone through the separation from my wife and kids.  I've endured nights in the cold.  I've endured my head injuries.  I've endured the first open heart surgery.  I've endured the abandonment by those I helped and cared for.  I've endured being sent back to the Midwest to recover.  I've endured endless rejection from disability and life insurance companies.  I"ve battled with my employer and doctors about my injuries.  I've had to terminate myself after weeks, going without benefits.   My debts have mounted to the point of bankruptcy.  I've endured cold nights in Minnesota.  I'm dealing with memory loss and vertigo from my injuries every day.  And I'm enduring a possible second open heart procedure.  

Regardless, I am in the presence of friends and family.  So even in the cold, cold north, my heart is warm.  I am with and among "my people."  So there is no other place I'd rather be.

But as a codependent, I had to and have made time to reflect on myself--even allowing myself to lament for our situation and weep out of gratitude from friends, family, and strangers even.  Weeping has been good medicine for my heart.  But I also know there's a place and time for that.  

Greater still is the peace and joy I have in my heart.  These would not have been possible without my Inspired Spoken Word projects, which are discussed on my site here but the actual work is for my members only. 

I want to remind you that I love you and that I miss you.  I really look forward to the day we can celebrate a reunion and catch up.  That would be such joy for me! 

I think of you often, especially when life gets tough.  The time we shared together and laughed, I will hold onto during those dark and lonely nights.  Know that I'm gleaming with smiles every time I think of you.  I'm glad that God gave us that time, small as it was.  Believe it or not, you fill my cup.  You are special to me and just knowing you are there and that you care...is enough for me to keep going.  So I thank you.   

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.  Thank you for being there.  And thank you for being my friend when I felt no one cared.  I know you do.  So thank you so much. 

So as my music ends, I hope you will take time to close your eyes, sit in the silence, feel the breeze and warmth of the light, and think of us--the memories we had together as well as the reunion we'll have to come, and then smile with me!  

Shalom.  

Don't forget to subscribe to my newsletter, if not as a supporting member.  That way, you'll know exactly how to pray for me each week. 

Again, I love you and look forward to seeing you again...on this, but if not, the other side!

With much love, thoughts, tears, and longing for you...

Yours Truly,

Kxf. W. D.  Yang